Top 5 Lessons for Teachers
For many, Seinfeld is the funniest sitcom ever aired. Aficionados can quote chapter and verse from almost every episode. It’s not surprising then, that ThinkFives accepted a fun project. Research a host of Seinfeld episodes to find wisdom for teachers. In most cases, the wisdom is derived from what not to do, but in every case, it’s funny.
So, here are our Top 5 Lessons for Teachers from Seinfeld!
Jerry is as Fast as A Speeding Bullet
Episode: The Race (Season 6, Episode 10)
Story: Jerry meets an old rival who suspects that he cheated in a high school race and who demands a re-match. In ninth grade, Jerry inadvertently received a head start that no one noticed and won by a wide margin. He became a legend, but his rival Duncan Meyer always suspected Jerry of getting a head start. Meanwhile, Jerry’s date Lois (aka Lois Lane) works for Duncan and he demands that Jerry race him again, even threatening to fire Lois if Jerry declines
“The Race” was one of Jerry Seinfeld’s favorite episodes due to its Superman themes.
Lesson Learned: If you cheat, don’t get caught
Great Lines:
- “In four years of high school, I would never race anyone again. Not even to the end of the block to catch a bus. And so the legend grew.”
- “Everyone wanted me to race. … But I answered him in the same way I answered everyone, “I choose not to run.”
- “Excuse me, Lois. Stand back, Lois. Jimmy’s in trouble, Lois.”
Date Aired: December 15, 1994
Don’t Leave George in Charge
Episode: “The Fire” (Season 5, Episode 18)
Story: George Costanza has always been a selfish coward, of course, but he hits absolute rock bottom here. A fire breaks out at a children’s birthday party and George bolts for the door, shoving children and an old woman out of the way to escape. (Also, check out a young Jon Favreau as the kids’ party clown!)
Once you see the party scene, it’s hard not to think of George every time there’s a school fire drill.
Lesson Learned: Screen your day care workers carefully.
Great Lines:
- “But I saw you push the women and children out of the way in a mad panic. I saw you knock them down. And when you ran out, you left everyone behind.”
- “Oh-ho, quite the contrary! I risked my life making sure that exit was clear.”
- “You feel “women and children first”, in this day and age, is somewhat of an antiquated notion?”
Date Aired: May 5, 1994
Who Could Turn Down a Junior Mint?
Episode: The Junior Mint (Season 4, Episode 20)
Plot: As only Kramer can do, he gets himself invited to a medical school viewing area during a surgery. The scene is a classic: an errant Junior Mint plopping into Elaine’s ex-boyfriend mid-surgery is an unforgettable sight gag and George plotting to buy the patient’s artwork, thinking that it’ll skyrocket if he dies, is classic Costanza. And there’s an hysterical subplot with Jerry and a new girlfriend. One question, “Mulva?”
Lesson Learned: No candy or eating during class.
Great Lines:
- “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint, it’s delicious.”
- “George: What do you mean “into the patient”? Jerry: Into the patient, literally! George: Into the hole? Jerry: Yes, the hole!”
- “George: How could they not notice it? Jerry: Because it’s a little mint. It’s a Junior Mint.”
Date Aired: March 18, 1993
Beware the Atomic Wedgy
Episode: The Library (Season 3, Episode 5)
Plot: George runs into a bully P.E. teacher, now homeless and living outside the library, who tormented him in school. He used to tease George by calling him “Can’t stand ya” (which sounds like Costanza). Mr. Heyman was also responsible for having the jocks give George ‘wedgies’ and sometimes an ‘atomic wedgie.’ It was George’s complaint that got the teacher fired.
Lesson Learned: Gym class can scar for life.
Great Lines:
- “They also have an atomic wedgie. Now the goal there is to actually get the waistband on top of the head. Very rare.”
- “Can’t stand ja … Can’t stand ja. Your underwear was stick’n out of your shorts during gym class.”
- Elaine: “Boys are sick. JERRY: Well what do girls do? ELAINE: We just tease someone ’til they develop an eating disorder.”
Date Aired: October 16, 1991
You Cannot Escape the Long Arm of the Law
Episode: The Library (Season 3, Episode 5)
Plot: In the same episode, Jerry’s overdue copy of “Tropic of Cancer” from 1971 has library cop extraordinaire, John Bookman hot on the case. In a classic Seinfeld cameo, Mr. Bookman deals with library delinquents like Jerry, who has eluded him since his 1971 checkout of Tropic of Cancer. He accuses Jerry of preventing other youngsters from experiencing the book’s sought-after adult-themed content comically berating Jerry and his depravities.
Lesson Learned: Librarians mean business.
Great Lines:
- “Well, let me tell you something, funny boy.”
- “But what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and The Five Chinese Brothers.”
- “What’s my problem? Punks like you, that’s my problem. And you better not screw up again, Seinfeld, because if you do, I’ll be all over you like a pitbull on a poodle.”
Date Aired: October 16, 1991
Have you been a Seinfeld fan? What episodes are your favorites?
Yes! Shout out to all the librarians!
Never seen this show, but I heard it is an iconic one. Got to add to the “Need to Watch” list.
Seinfeld was ahead of its time!!! 😂👏