For those who have been teaching for decades, you probably have a mental tally sheet of every time the same question has been asked over and over. Does this count? Should we put our names on this? Should we answer every question?
Here at ThinkFives, we have imagined a world where these questions do not exist. Our classroom in the Twilight Zone envisions students who pay attention, discover answers themselves and don’t ask the obvious.
Join us as we wistfully read these questions that we will sadly never hear in a classroom.
Test and Assessments
- I know what to do because I read the instructions.
- I’m going to answer all of the questions.
- I’ll write my name on this line next to where it says “Name.”
- Of course, I know this counts towards my grade.
- I’m using this dictionary because spelling counts.
Classroom Routines
- I’m only going to have to use the bathroom once today.
- I will politely take my hand down and not yell, “Ou, Ou, Ou.”
- I know I answered out of turn and will never do that again.
- I know what day it is. I read the calendar on the wall.
- I was going to ask you when this is due, but I see you’ve already written it on the whiteboard.
Paying Attention
- I know exactly what group I’m in, because I was listening carefully.
- Yes, she pulled my hair, but that’s because I poked her first.
- Of course we’re in our seats, you said, “Sit down.”
- You are talking in a louder voice. We are ready to listen.
- My phone is in my backpack.
Learning Time
- Don’t worry, I won’t ask, “Will this be on the test?” ever again.
- Yes I was late. I know it, and I take responsibility.
- Even if I don’t remember when recess is, I will wait until you tell us.
- I’d like to answer in complete sentences, if that works for you.
- Hey Teach, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday so I can do some extra essay writing.
Homework
- I noted on the top of my homework that it is two days late.
- My mom helped me with this, so we should split the credit.
- I think I’ll take my homework out now since you collect it first thing every day.
- May I take some scrap paper to show all my work on the math problems?
- You didn’t “give” me this 5 out of 10 on the quiz. I earned it.
What student phrase do you think you’ll never hear in a classroom?
Can I get more homework please?
I know EXACTLY what to do! 😂
You don’t need to repeat the directions, I was listening. 😜
The homework one gets me. LOL. These are hilarious